Posts tagged polyamory
Posts tagged polyamory
I’ve had enough of the “Team ___” fandom. This is hilarious :D
And it doesn’t mean that I want to always sleep with them or “steal” them. (As if a human can own another human…)
Sometimes it means I just want to be there for them as a friend when the world turns against them.
So there. ;)
I think most of us can related to taking on the role of ‘relationship therapist’ for one side of a couple.
I’m trying to remind myself that “success” means teaching the person to be aware of their own behaviors and motives and to try to communicate better - not that the relationship in question lasts indefinitely. Sadly, when we take on the role of friend, confidante, and therapist and the relationship in question ends, people it fuels the “what society thinks we do” box.
Note: The events outlined (being hit after trying to give advice, the trip and subsequent outburst, freak-out over books/relationship advice, the passive-aggressive behavior, and bad spin-doctoring after the fact) actually did happen. The only part of this that hasn’t been confirmed is the reason behind someone suddenly becoming unavailable on GChat. However, they did go from being online/available/talkative to suddenly not, and then started telling others that they were being ‘excluded’.
This shit is why you don’t see many polyamrous people who are publicly “out” to their friends.
Especially polyamorus women. We are shamed for being open and honest about our sexuality, even if we make an effort to act ethically. If we show confidence in ourselves - our bodies and our natures - our actions of friendship, compassion, and companionate love are perceived as being sexually motivated. And by sexually motivated I mean “steal a man” predatory.
Doesn’t it cross anyone’s minds that some poly people may actually like seeing their friends in healthy, stable, happy relationships, whether monogamous or multiple? And that we worry and care when those relationships become rocky and want to give emotional support as needed and ethically allowable?.
I’m really tired of staying quiet on this issue, so I am posting my thoughts and feelings here. Feel free to like it or reblog/share it. I know that I am not the only polyamorous person that has been “caught in the crossfire”, nor am I the first. My hope is that by opening up the topic, we can learn to stand up for ourselves and our reputations.
And for those that are curious, the guy and poly girl talked things through and decided to start dating (a couple weeks after the ex made a divorce-implying post on Facebook)
BTW - I’m not @BadPolyAdvice… they are just uber-awesome at posting snarky tweets :D
Update: posted this pic to a demotivational poster site http://cheezburger.com/6187028224
Or post a lot of polyamory things. I’m looking for new blogs to follow!
I post a lot of poly things! Though I also post a lot of queer things and gender things, but there are definitely a lot of poly things. ^^
A useful way to find other poly blogs :)
I also have a polyamory blog. I just need to write more for it :)
(Source: , via polyamorousmisanthrope)
There are some days that I want to respond to “Polyamory FAQ’s” like this.
Jessica & Corey Karels
My husband and I first met on Christmas Eve, 1997. We started dating March 25, 1998, got engaged on the weekend of my 21st birthday (October 26 or 27, 2001… I forget!) and married on June 15, 2002. Even as we were dating, we realized we had the capacity to both love each otherandto love other people. It wasn’t until after we married that we discussed the possibility of pursuing those feelings.
In case anyone is curious, I was the one that initiated the conversation. I wasn’t “talked into” it… I asked and he said “sure” :o)
My marriage to Corey means that we promise to be a part of each other’s lives and to share our joys, sorrows, and hardships. It means providing a supportive environment for each of us to grow and find happiness.
Today I have a boyfriend (who is close friends with my husband), and he has a couple of romantic partners as well. My husband and I live on our own in a nice house in the suburbs. Over the years we mused about the possibility of being a part of a multi-partner family that lived under one roof (or in adjacent homes). That hasn’t happened yet, but we’re still open to the possibility.
His mom and that side of the family don’t know. My family does and they are supportive. Our friends know. Our co-workers know. We’re both privileged (and lucky) to work for a company that encourages diversity.
We know that others aren’t as fortunate, and try to be as visible as possible with the hope that it will help change minds and allow others to someday be able to “come out” without fear.
What polyamory means to me is to live where I see abundance rather than scarcity. Rather than feel threatened that my husband has feelings for other women, I feel happy that he has such a capacity to love and care for others. I’m also happy to receive love and support from two awesome men that have also grown to be close friends.
We want to create a world where everyone can be open about their relationship choices - without worrying about losing jobs and losing children. We want to show the world that polyamorous people are normal, stable, healthy, friendly, contributing members of society. And we’re cute too!
This is an awesome coming out / what polyamory means to me project